The Last Unicorn

 

The first needle penetrated the skin and a warmth began to flow from my forehead. If I were a real unicorn, it was in the exact spot where my horn would have been. I heard the acupuncturist say, "these first few needles will get your chi moving, just relax." It was immediate - heat rising and coalescing then radiating from within. An interesting and unique opportunity to meditate. I thought of the breath, my body and then was mindful of the warmth, the feeling of a fire rekindled - corpuscular rays breaking out from behind the clouds. It is so easy for us to accept the state we are in without stopping to think that maybe this is not the way, maybe there is a better way, maybe this exhaustion and stagnation is not required of me. Perhaps it is not required of any of us.

Photo Credit: Jamie Cohen Breneman

Guts

To trust in one's intuition is a feat not easily accomplished by most in today's society. We have all been programmed and perhaps bred to trust our frontal lobe. We believe what we can see, what has been proven. There are entire sensory organs that are now essentially disappeared from our species since they have been replaced by an evolving brain. The loss of these instinct-based systems decreases our awareness and stunts our ability to use our intuition. A secondary sensory organ (still found in some newborns) used to function to detect heightened olfactory stimuli. This was useful for smelling food that should not be eaten, and perhaps sensing sickness and pheromones. Now we believe we know better than that and we "think" that we can or cannot eat things - yet food poisoning remains a public health crisis as evidenced by the current outbreak of hepatitis A here in Hawaii. It seems a common trend for humans to think we are more evolved than we are, or more intelligent than we were made to be.


A wonderful woman, student, and teacher of Hawaiian herbal medicine reminded us today that it is our intuition that connects us to the earth and to each other. We ask for permission to use plants for medicine, to take from the earth. We ask for guidance from our ancestors, the spirits that journey with us. If we are listening, we have so much help out there... why do we feel like we are above this? This is not unique to Hawaiian spirituality. Whether you ask God or Jesus or Mary or Mohammed or Buddha or the source or the universe for guidance, prayer and the acknowledgment of those who paved our way, those who came before us and made sacrifices on our behalf, is an often unifying factor. I have known surgeons who prayed before operating, asking for their hands to be guided in healing. This is no different than asking that we be directed towards the right flowers or roots to make medicines. Our secondary olfactory organs would have perhaps been very helpful here as well.

I have to wonder if things wouldn't be easier if we would truly listen to the voice inside us saying "Don't do that. Don't eat that." or "This is the right place to be, wait here". So often we kick ourselves for not doing what we "knew we should have" or vice versa. How much happier could we be if we could hear our own voice?

With Light,
Michelle

All Photo credits to Jamie Cohen Breneman

Connection

Photo Credit: Jamie Cohen Breneman

On a boat along the Na Pali coast on a windy day I found myself sitting alone on the back of the boat - just how the seats worked out. Or was it? It occurred to me that I often isolate myself. The truth is that banal conversation, talking about beer or weather... I find it more draining than uplifting. Most of the time, I'd rather close my eyes and enjoy the wind. And this is what I did.

At some point I opened my eyes and looked towards the front of the boat only to realize I couldn't see beyond it. I looked behind me and watched the coast get smaller and disappear into the wake of the boat, the spray eventually covering the mountains with heavily distorted scale.

A voice within me whispered, "It's not in front of or behind you - be here now." I turned into the sun and felt the warmth against my skin. I wanted to enjoy the moment and be present with it. Closing my eyes and feeling the spray, I was getting rather jostled. I was using so many things to hold on.. but letting go of the rail and trusting in my body I sat engaged, moving with the boat waiting for the sun to cool and sink lower in the sun.

Photo Credit: Jamie Cohen Breneman

It is amazing to watch the island come closer and move farther away - the perspective and size changing with every wave as we move. The power of nature is something never to be underestimated. Whether it is the formation and shaping of islands by volcanos and earthquakes, the torrent of a hurricane, crashing waves and undertow - there are times when we as humans, despite our desire to believe we can control such things, are left to gape in wonder at how much strength is contained therein. Looking at the stars at night or staring up at the rugged and raw coast of Kauai, I can't help but feel gratitude and respect for life in all its forms and magnitudes. There is no small and big, no better or worse, we are all connected. 

With Light,

Michelle

efiL decnalaB A

I truly believe that people come into my life for a reason and this doesn't exclude patients. Perhaps life comes into my life for a reason... Perhaps there is something I need to hear that day, a shift in perspective that I must experience or a question I forgot to answer revisited. I love when I have the time to sit and talk with patients as I could do so for hours and what's more I feel like sometimes that is more medicine that anything, for both the patient and myself. Knowing we are not alone in the world - that is powerful! It is when we feel most isolated, when we feel that our life is not what it "should" be that we are unhappy - but seeing that life is life and it is so for all people regardless or place, status, religion, political stance, it unites us. No longer are we isolated, lost in our self but invested in each other and propped up by our similarities - our shared experiences, our ability to love and comfort each other. Otherwise I could google the recipe for a healing tea or teach myself the acupressure points and perform shiatsu on myself. Aside from the physics behind shiatsu that necessitate leverage and angle to apply the appropriate pressure, like all forms of massage and all form of healing it is not something that can truly be administered to one's own self.

What I love about the Complementary and Alternative medicines I have experienced thus far is the shared experience between the healer and the healing. It seems to me that those desiring healing are more open to a truly equal relationship with their healer. It is not that they don't respect them but rather they respect each other enough to acknowledge we are all on an equal plane. Each of us possesses different knowledge, yes, but we work together for the good of all - this reminiscent of pieces of the Aloha Spirit Law. When we work together we can create something greater than either of us could do alone.

I heard acupuncture and Chinese Medicine described as "more philosophical" than Western medicine from a woman I will liken to Patch Adams. Her view on comedy and laughter as medicine rivals the best and her love and caring for her patients is clear in each interaction she has with those to whom she offers treatment. The herbs for the teas are prepared with incredible aesthetic beauty.

Each herb placed with intention, spices drizzled and draped creating a symphony of texture and scent. The more I learn about yin and yang the more questions I have. The idea of balance is not unfamiliar to me, but the scope of it and the idea that every thing has its complement and can therefore be out of balance causing physical, mental and emotional distress is the area I am becoming more and more fascinated by with every passing day.

I'm not entirely sure why any of this surprises me. Deep down I understand the balance required - even on a cellular level- for the efficient and healthy life. Pro-inflammation and anti-inflammation. Pro-apoptotic and anti-apoptotic. The body is full of cascades that are meant to be in balance. And a tipping of the scales in one direction or the other results in a disease state. Isn't this the same thing? Again I find it fascinating and wish to note that different names for the same thing if in a different philosophy are found inherently other and unequal. How is this the case?

With light,
Michelle

Aloha Spirit

The Aloha Spirit Law, the first part of which was included in the first entry of this blog, continues:

"These are traits of character that express the charm, warmth and sincerity of Hawaii’s people. It was the working philosophy of native Hawaiians and was presented as a gift to the people of Hawaii.

           * Aloha is more than a word of greeting or farewell or a salutation.
           * Aloha means mutual regard and affection and extends warmth in caring with no         obligation in return.
           * Aloha is the essence of relationships in which each person is important to every other person for collective existence.  
           * Aloha means to hear what is not said, to see what cannot be seen and to know the unknowable."

Aloha is proposed as the solution to the emerging spiritual strife and discord of modern existence.

This last line is perhaps my favorite but also perhaps the most abstract - most of us can wrap our minds around collective existence, mutual regard, kindness to each other and the self... but what about hearing what cannot be heard? It doesn't say the unhearable which is an interesting and I would suppose an intentional choice since the unsaid can still be heard but it requires the use of the rest of the senses -a form of compensatory synesthesia perhaps? Or maybe a suggestion to use the force, the aloha as a sixth and unifying sense. Perhaps it is my eyes now looking to see it and also offering unconditional kindness to as many strangers as possible but there seems to be a higher percentage of warm loving individuals here. It could be that if one sends out kindness and refuses to accept negativity or allow the anger and fear of others interrupt their happiness bubble things appear remarkably beautiful. 

Dali, Dada, Daoism

Who decided that Western Medicine and Chinese Medicine were separate to begin with? I hear about the duty we have to merge the differing forms of medicine and have to wonder where and when someone decided that they were separate. Merriam-Webster defines medicine as  "the science and art dealing with the maintenance of health and the prevention, alleviation, or cure of disease". Isn't that what each of us is trying to do? Which form of medicine we practice is like asking an artist which movement they belong to. Cubism may look different from Impressionism but they are both art, they are both equally valid, they both require use of medium and a surface to put it on - they have the same components with the same end. In medical school, they teach us not to speak ill of our colleagues yet somehow it seems to only apply to practitioners of Western medicine. How dare we diminish any form of medicine? People seem to be attached to their school like a religion believing in their gods and forsaking all others. As with religion, I find it short-sighted to not consider all religions, all philosophies, all arts to be intersecting and co-existing, perhaps even exactly the same with different names - meant to confuse us and keep us from realizing the full potential that medicine or spirituality or art and transcendence are meant to bring. Imagine - JUST IMAGINE what we could do with all the tools of all forms of medicine at our disposal?! What good could we do, how many people could we heal? What disservice do we do our patients by being closed-minded to the possibilities? If there is something that could help my patient and I fail to provide it, have I not done them harm? 

"Autumn Story" by Jose Roosevelt

Sand Angels

The drive to Ka'ena Point was worth it. It's the second time I've been and it's been relatively quiet both times - the entire reason I went. I started the day in Kailua so I headed first to Lanikai beach but it was rather busy and I was hoping to find some quiet sand. 

Photo Credit: Michelle Cohen

As I was sitting in the warm sand watching the waves crash on the rocks I found myself frustrated at my level of distraction. I was actively trying to be connected to the earth, to feel the sand and the splashing mist of the water but I couldn't seem to clear myself and focus. A group of high school kids was playing on the crag and getting pushed against the rocks by the waves and I felt my anxiety level sky rocket. I didn't feel comfortable closing my eyes -I was prepped and ready to have to rush over and resuscitate someone or tend a head wound. I got up and moved just far enough that I couldn't hear them - not because I didn't want to save them if it was necessary but because in the case that it was necessary someone would scream loud enough for me to hear 10 feet away. In the meantime I wanted to zone into the water.  But I couldn't seem to do it. I gave up and laid in the sand and starred up into the sky - so blue, cloudless. 

Unsurprisingly when I let go I realized I was already connected to the earth, I didn't need to try so hard. It isn't something to be forced but perhaps more recognized - something to be aware of. I could feel each grain of sand against my skin and yet there was no distinction between us. Like so much of what I experience these days, this isn't something to be consciously attempted when free - it's a way of life. 

Photo Credit: Jamie Breneman